I see your beautiful face

You are holding my hand tightly. I can feel that you have no intentions of letting it go.

We are running fast, making sure the thing is not catching up. You are ahead of me so I cannot see your face.


This post had been transferred by the author to another website named, “Nimotsu Counter.” To know what happened to the lovers mentioned above, kindly click here.

 

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Tadhana/ Fate

I chose a song in Filipino, my native tongue, which is the only language that can best express my feelings for you.

This is a song that best describes what I want to tell YOU. Yes, YOU.

May the wind, together with fate, bring this message across, once again.

Intramuros
Song by Up Dharma Down, a Filipino  band

And a cover by me in Soundcloud:


 

This post had been transferred by the author to another blog named “Nimotsu Counter.” The English translation of the lyrics of Up Dharma Down’s “Tadhana” and the rest of this article here.

The Wall

At Fuerza de Sta. Isabel, Taytay, Palawan.

 “What do you think you are doing?!”

 There’s the female voice inside my head again.

“Hey! Answer me!”

I cannot remember a thing. All I know is that my eyes are widened, as if shocked and staring blankly onto the blue sky above. Tears are flowing non-stop, making my sight more and more defocused.


This post had been transferred by the author to another blog named “Nimotsu Counter.” Who is the female voice? Who is the girl lying on the ground and crying? To follow the article, kindly click here.

Pagsuong

Maulap ang umaga. Makapal rin ang hamog. Mukhang hindi akma ang umagang ito sa pag-akyat sa rurok ng bundok, nguni’t wala na kaming pagpipilian. Ilang araw na rin ang aming pinalipas sa dormitoryo sa camp site dahil sa tuluy-tuloy na pag-ulan.

“Kung hindi kayo aakyat ngayon, hindi natin alam kung kailan muling titigil ang ulan,” banggit ng aming tour guide na si Kuya Nato. Kaya’t iniwan namin pansamantala ang aming mga gamit sa dormitoryo at minabuting sumuong na.

At ang malakas na pag-ihip ng hangin ay lalo lamang nagpalala sa lamig ng panahon.

Ipinagpatuloy namin ang aming paglakad. Habang tumatagal ay pakapal nang pakapal ang hamog. Parami na rin nang parami ang nahakot na putik ng aming mga sapatos. Palamig na rin nang palamig ang panahon at ang aking paghinga ay palalim na rin nang palalim. Inatake na ako ng aking hika.

This post had been transferred by the author to another blog named “Nimotsu Counter.” To know what happened after the character had an asthma attack in the middle of a hike to the peak of a mountain, kindly click here.

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Goddamn Tired

goddam tired copy

How far will you go
For your love to truly show
For her to not just know
And to feel it once and for all

Do you fetch her at the station
If she reached her destination
Around six hours before dawn
And was all alone?

Only a portion of your time
And was just a short drive
But you don’t want to strive
To all her “desires”


This post had been transferred by the author to another blog named “Nimotsu Counter.” To read the rest of the poem, kindly click here.

Partner in Crime

bare, first home

It is bare. Yes. I am living alone in this apartment for almost five years now, but it is still bare.

I was invited by Urban Compass to participate in a new project of theirs called Starter Stories, wherein a few select bloggers were asked about their first place.

Urban Compass is a real estate platform that connects folks searching for apartments with the neighborhood that matches their personality and taste for finding NYC apartments.

I started living alone in May 2011, around 7 months after I got my first regular job. Most of the stuff here were given by my father: an old tv, table, chairs, LPG tank, coffee maker.

kitchen first place

Some stuff on the kitchen counter. Rice coffee from Ilocos. Durian Coffee Jam from Davao. Corn Coffe from Cotabato. Chocolate-coated sunflower seeds from Dagupan.

 

I never bought and wouldn’t be buying any furniture because, first of all I was the thrifty kind of housekeeper.  When you were self-supporting, you tend to track down and think twice to where you would spend your next pay check.

And besides, I was the only one living here. All that I needed were a bed (actually just a mattress), a table as work space, and a chair.

Secondly, I always thought of this place as something temporary, so I wasn’t dressing it up that much. I dream of course of giving myself my own permanent home someday. Yeah, someday.

But I also never thought that something temporary would produce permanent and lasting memories.


This post had been transferred by the author to another blog named “Nimotsu Counter.” To read the rest of this article, kindly click here.

 

2014: Surviving the Depths of Hell

2014 started calmly. The first few days of the year was still preoccupied by the serenity of our Palawan trip during the Christmas holidays.

el nido palawan

From the entry, “Palawan’s Gods and Goddesses.”

Thank you for being my nature-tripping buddy, Nessa. And thanks din kay Xe na wala akong picture ngayong taon. 🙂

 

January and February reintroduced me to blogging. I realized that online writing was more than just letting things out. The door was reopened. Yes, reopened, because I used to take it for granted when it first commenced in front of me. So these were the days of catching up.

And then there was Mt. Damas.

Mt. Damas

Buwis-buhay! Photo by Karina de Capia. From the entry, “Jewels in the Damas.”

It was my first climb of the year. But I never thought that it would also be my only climb for the year. And I was disappointed with myself for that.

The first quarter of the year was also filled with work-related meet-ups for maybe one of the biggest projects I ever involved myself with. But big also meant great power. And as Uncle Ben told Spiderman, “Great power comes great responsibility.”

work

Maybe the project was too big for me. Or maybe the project was too big for just one person. Or maybe I just wasn’t good enough. Or maybe this was just not for me in the first place.

These statements started filling up my mind as I started the “Im Purity” blog series in my baggage counter.

crash

From the entry, “Im Purity’s Escape.”


This post had been transferred by the author to another blog named “Nimotsu Counter.” To read the rest of this year-end report for 2014, kindly click here.

 

Why? Because it makes me happy

Watching anime. Why? Because it makes me happy.

Heidi. memorabilias from Best of Anime 2014

Heidi. souvenirs from Best of Anime 2014.

Collecting anything anime or anything Japanese. Why? Because it makes me happy.

Keishi Otomo-sensei2 copy

“Kailangan pa ba i-memorize ‘yan?” Arigatou for the pic Otomo-sensei. 😀

Fangirling and literally running after the director of one of the best live-action adaptation of one of the best animes of all time. Why? Because it makes me happy.

pogs copy

Pog. Your childhood is boring if you don’t know them.

As I have been writing in this blog lately, yes, my addiction for Japanese animation have been brewing since before kindergarten.

circa 1994 copy

Oh yes. Look how happy I was with my first Sailomoon toys. 😀 Circa 1994. With my brother.

We were not rich back then. I wasn’t even aware that original action figures in big boxes even existed. All my parents could buy for me were these toys from the local market of Orion, in the province of Bataan.

precious copy

From 1994 to 2014. Twenty years of making me happy.

But I was the most thrifty kid in town. I would save as much from my allowances just to get myself some pogs, teks, mini-teks, bargain posters and stickers. And everytime someone would go to Manila, I would ask them to buy me the famous Questor Magazine and eventually, Culture Crash. But this only happened maybe around once a quarterly.

questor copy

Questor. The Ultimate Anime Magazine.

On November 2000, according to Wikipedia, the nearest SM to our place opened in San Fernando, Pampanga. Since then, we went to SM once a year. And this was when Comic Alley collected all my savings: from Sakura cards to laminated photos to playing cards and cassette tapes.

cassette copy

Original Cassette tapes. And audio recordings of the live TV broadcast. Come on, you know what I meant right? 😀

I and my bestfriend then would also do audio tape recordings of the Tagalized anime broadcasts in TV. Come on 90s kids, you knew what I meant right? 😀

My parents would ask why I was doing all of these. I didn’t know what to tell them at the time. But one thing was for sure. Anime surely made me happy.

Flash forward to the year 2005, I was in my first year at the University of the Philippines. Adjusting for boarding house living in the city was not easy from a girl from the countryside. All the pressure of living on your own and complying to the academic requirements of the premiere university in the country pushed me to set aside my anime addiction for urban survival. And it was not easy to catch up when you had no in-house TV and internet. I was able to attend, for the first time in my life, maybe a couple of anime conventions, but also due to allowance restrictions, I wasn’t able to continue doing it.


This post had been transferred by the author to another blog named “Nimotsu Counter.” To read the rest of my post about my anime addiction, plus some memorabilias from the band “Heidi,” kindly click here.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU REALLY WANT?

This so-called real world is mad, extremely mad. It can get you lost and devastated. But, I believe one of the guaranteed ways to get along with its insanity is by knowing what you really want and succumbing yourself to this thing they call passion.

University of the Philippines commencement exercises

Graduation at my beloved school, the University of the Philippines.

But this is easier said than done. Lucky are those who graduated from college and already know what they want to do with their lives. Many graduates are a bit lost on what to do after school, which leads to this another so-called quarter-life crisis. But that’s a completely different story. I myself spent a few years figuring this one out, and every now and then, insane things from this real world is still making me confused about my choice in life. It has been four years from my own graduation.

But before we get more depressing, here are some of the things that I can share with newly-grads about life decisions like this. I would like you to ponder on a few questions.

“Do I love the course I took up in college? Do I want to spend the rest of my life dealing with things related to this course?”

Did you take up your course in college because you love it or because your parents love it? If you love it, I assume you want to spend the rest of your life doing something related to it. But if your parents love it, have you learned to love it too or not? If yes, do you want to spend the rest of your life working in this field? If not, do you still have the energy to pursue what your parents want you to do?

“If my course involves different sub-fields, which among them gives me the most happiness when I’m doing something related to it?”


This post had been transferred by the author to another blog named “Nimotsu Counter.”  To continue reading the post, kindly click here.

Feelings on a Saturday Night

blog-bg4-copy.jpg“Do you think you weren’t loved enough?”

“I was always hungry for love. Just once, I wanted to know what it was like to get my fill of it. To be fed so much love, I couldn’t take anymore. Just once. But they never gave that to me. Never. Not once.”

“So I made up my mind I would find someone who would love me unconditionally, 365 days a year.”

“Wow. Did your search pay-off?”

“That’s the hard part. I guess I’d been waiting so long and been looking for perfection. That makes it tough.”

“Waiting for the perfect love?”

“No… I’m looking for selfishness. Perfect selfishness.”

— Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood


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